I'm feeling in flux. Here's just a tidbit of something I found while googling the definition.
synonyms: continuous change, changeability, variability, inconstancy, fluidity, instability, unsteadiness, fluctuation, variation, shift, movement, oscillation, alternation, rise and fall, seesawing, yo-yoing"
The fluxing of my life has been happening for awhile, probably at least a year. My family dynamics have changed, friends have passed on without fulfilling some things I was watching them accomplish, the job (well that's a whole other story!)
I went from what I thought was my magical age year into turning 57, looked at the mirror of what has been and was informed through the drum circle "the mirror should be the reflection of the beauty we bring to the world". There's a challenge!
Not that I haven't accomplished some things. I have performed my second croning, have worked spells to help bring what I hoped was helpful to the success of an author friend and even tapped into my business persona and became a notary! So what if my bank account looks sad or my house needs remodeling (those two are somewhat connected).
I can also smile when I see the photos of my sailor son and his beautiful new sweetie with her adorable little boy. Now that's something to make me wake up and feel joyful about!
I also have quite a network of amazing women who when we get together make me feel more powerful and connected to the earth (and current events/books) and give me leeway to vent from the frustrations happening on a daily basis.
But an upcoming visit to the forest will refresh me, recharge my batteries. I will sit and feel the breeze coming up from the river and watch dusk descend over the canyon. Possibly in the quiet I'll even hear the whispers of my lineage giving me the direction I could choose to point my compass...